Not a day goes by without me being thankful for my baby girl. I think she’s the best baby in the world, but this does not stop me from loving other babies. In my eyes, babies are blessings and miracles.
When I was pregnant I knew how unpredictable pregnancies and deliveries could be, with common complications such as stillbirth and miscarriage. As expecting parents, we have no control over a world that we can’t see with our bare eyes, and even when medical experts intervene, their assistance is often limited. This knowledge of the unexpected became one of my driving forces during pregnancy. I did everything in my power to keep my unborn baby healthy, happy, and safe: I ate healthy, exercised and avoided stressful situations. I was blessed to deliver a healthy baby.
Was my balanced lifestyle the reason why I delivered a healthy baby? There’s no doubt that our lifestyle affects our pregnancy. However, I know of people who followed healthy lifestyles yet they had miscarriages, stillbirths, birth defects etc, and there are those who don’t have a balanced lifestyle but deliver healthy babies. Genes also have a role in determining how our pregnancy develops, but again I have heard of people who couldn’t find faulty genes to blame for their unfortunate birth/pregnancy related circumstances. Sometimes, things just happen, and we have to accept that there are simply no clear-cut answers to all our questions. One thing is certain for me though: I will NEVER take my child for granted, and will forever be grateful. She’s my miracle.
A couple of months ago, I read an article on how parents with still born babies cherish the bit of time they have with their babies, and take pictures to capture these precious moments (some upload these pictures on their facebook). At first, I could not bring myself to read the article; I was heartbroken for these people without even knowing the full story, and felt like I was intruding in their lives in such a dreadful time. I also questioned the reason why they shared such a painful experience with the world. I guess this was because death is a taboo and dreaded topic in our society. After I finally gathered the courage to read the article, I understood many things.
For some, capturing and sharing these precious moments with their baby is a coping mechanism, and it’s completely understandable. They are doing what’s best for them. After months of excitement, why shouldn’t they have some memories of the baby who shared his/her life with them? I can understand some people’s apprehension because death, but these mourning parents should not be judged. There are more and more parents opening up and sharing their stillbirth stories, and I hope that those going through it know that they are not alone ( http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/health/stillbirth-reader-stories.html ).
Some of us have been blessed not to go through such hardship; we should count our blessings everyday.